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Let’s talk about self-awareness—because it’s more than just knowing when you’re triggered.Anyone can recognize a moment where they overreacted or got emotionally activated. That’s step one.But real transformation? That happens when you go deeper. When you stop just managing the reaction in the moment and start asking the bigger question:“Why does this keep happening?” “Why do I shut down every time I feel unheard?” “Why do I keep choosing the same kind of relationship dynamic and expecting a different result?”That’s where the power is. Not just in the trigger itself—but in the pattern underneath it.<figure id="figure-8w0bsz6jchmd3hcmyy"><iframe id="8w0bsz6jchmd3hcmyy" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/YlqFW0qMpco" class="w-full bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" allowfullscreen="" data-url="https://youtube.com/shorts/YlqFW0qMpco?si=j94eHMbupEIZHR--" data-corners="default" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/YlqFW0qMpco" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></iframe></figure><h3>Patterns Are the Blueprint</h3>Let’s be honest: most of us are walking around repeating the same emotional loops on autopilot.We chase validation and then feel disappointed. We avoid conflict but end up resentful. We people-please until we burn ourselves out—again.And every time, we act surprised… like it just happened to us.But here’s the truth: Patterns tell the truth.And if you’re willing to zoom out and look at them, they’ll show you exactly what still needs healing.It’s not about blaming yourself. It’s about freeing yourself.<h3>A Simple Way to Start Noticing Your Patterns</h3>If this hits home, here’s something you can try this week:Every time you feel emotionally off—anxious, drained, angry, or shut down—pause and ask:<ul><li>“Where have I felt this before?”</li><li>“What story is playing on repeat right now?”</li><li>“What role am I slipping into that feels a little too familiar?”</li></ul>You’ll start to notice the loops. And once you see them, you get to choose something different.Because self-awareness isn’t just about noticing the fire—it’s about realizing you’ve been holding the same match over and over again.<h3>And You? You’ve Got the Power to Put It Down.</h3>You don’t have to keep repeating what’s familiar. You don’t have to keep burning yourself for the sake of survival.This is your invitation to get curious—not judgmental—about your patterns. To stop trying to fix everything in the moment and start understanding the why behind it.You’re not too sensitive. You’re not broken. You’re just ready to break the loop.And I’m here for that version of you.Want help identifying and shifting the patterns keeping you stuck?That’s the work we do in my 1:1 coaching containers. If you’ve been feeling the pull, this is your moment. <a data-mce-href="https://jaimecoaches.com/jaime-messina----mindset---empowerment-coach--one-on-one-coaching" href="https://jaimecoaches.com/jaime-messina----mindset---empowerment-coach--one-on-one-coaching" data-mce-selected="inline-boundary">Click Here to Learn More!</a>Let’s do this together. &nbsp; &nbsp;

Self-Awareness Isn’t Just About Triggers—It’s About Patterns

Angry driver screaming at someone from car in traffic jam

Let’s talk about triggers— Not as something to avoid, dismiss, or feel ashamed about... But as portals.Yeah. I said it.You know that moment when someone says something, or doesn’t text back, or gives you a certain look—and you feel that flash of heat in your chest? That knot in your stomach? That urge to shut down, lash out, or overthink every little thing?That’s not weakness. That’s your nervous system waving a flag and saying: “Hey… there’s something here that still needs your attention.”The world has taught us to treat triggers like landmines—things we need to hide or tiptoe around. But what if, instead, we got curious? What if being triggered is less about what someone else did—and more about what we still haven’t healed?<figure id="figure-jjis9p79bjmcxjnsyi"><iframe id="jjis9p79bjmcxjnsyi" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/zvyOeKLn_Xg" class="w-full bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" allowfullscreen="" data-url="https://youtube.com/shorts/zvyOeKLn_Xg?si=aJaImbnF6jfVu60N" data-corners="default" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/zvyOeKLn_Xg" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></iframe></figure><h3>Your Triggers Aren’t the Problem. The Story Underneath Is.</h3>That uncomfortable feeling? That sudden reaction? It’s not random. It’s a doorway to something deeper. Because your body holds memory. And when something pokes at an old wound, your system responds fast. That’s not you overreacting—that’s a survival mechanism.But here’s the shift:&nbsp;Instead of saying, “I’m triggered,” try saying, “Something in me needs my attention.”Feel the difference?One closes the door with shame. The other opens it with curiosity.<h3>So… What Do You Do When You’re Triggered?</h3>You listen. You give that part of you a voice. Here are a few ways to start:<ul><li>Journal it. Let the thoughts out without censoring yourself.</li><li>Record a voice note. Talk to yourself like you would a friend.</li><li>Try mirror talk. Ask: “What are you trying to tell me right now?”</li></ul>The goal isn’t to push the feeling away—it’s to move through it.Because healing isn’t about never getting triggered again. It’s about recognizing the trigger, understanding the story behind it, and responding with compassion instead of reaction.<h3>Your Trigger Is Your Teacher</h3>Here’s the truth no one told us growing up: That discomfort you feel? That’s not the enemy. That’s your body showing you where you’re ready to heal next.So the next time something sets you off, pause before spiraling into shame or blame. Instead, ask:“What is this here to teach me?” “What am I still holding onto?” “What version of me needs to be seen right now?”Because that trigger? It’s not a breakdown. It’s a breakthrough waiting to happen.And you’re brave enough to walk through it.<h3>&nbsp; Want support while you learn to respond instead of react?</h3>This is the work I do with my coaching clients—helping you break old emotional patterns, heal your nervous system, and finally feel safe being fully you.Ready to go deeper? <a data-mce-href="https://jaimecoaches.com/jaime-messina----mindset---empowerment-coach--one-on-one-coaching" href="https://jaimecoaches.com/jaime-messina----mindset---empowerment-coach--one-on-one-coaching">[Click here to join my coaching program / book a call / learn more.]</a> &nbsp; &nbsp;

Triggered? It’s a Portal, Not a Problem

Woman doll hugs a cactus plant on light pink background. Harmful, painful and toxic relationship, partner problems, emotional abuse concept

Let’s get one thing straight: You don’t need more positivity. You need a pattern interrupt.You know what I’m talking about—that moment when everything feels like it’s spiraling, and you try to “positive vibe” your way out of it. You slap on a smile, say some affirmations, maybe even throw on a motivational podcast while your nervous system is quietly screaming in the background.But let’s be honest:Telling yourself “everything’s fine” when it’s clearly not? That’s not mindset work—that’s emotional bypassing. That’s gaslighting yourself with a smile.Toxic positivity is cute on a Pinterest board. But in real life, it keeps you stuck in avoidance mode. It teaches you to suppress what you’re actually feeling in favor of a polished, palatable version of “growth.” And the truth is? That’s not healing. That’s hiding.<figure id="figure-tsew7p27ykmcw9h9qq"><iframe id="tsew7p27ykmcw9h9qq" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/aI88dj5SR2w" class="w-full bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" allowfullscreen="" data-url="https://youtube.com/shorts/aI88dj5SR2w?si=oG73QwMC7TFw2fB5" data-corners="default" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/aI88dj5SR2w" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></iframe></figure><h3>So What Do You Need?</h3>You need to interrupt the loop.The next time your thoughts start spiraling or you catch yourself sinking into old, familiar patterns, try doing one thing differently. That’s it. One small shift. Because when you change one thing, you break the autopilot. You wake up the brain.Here are a few ways to do that:<ul><li>Change your body position. Get up. Stretch. Shake it off.</li><li>Step outside. Fresh air, different energy, new input.</li><li>Say it out loud: “This is a pattern, not a truth.” (Yes, talk to yourself. Loudly if needed.)</li></ul>That tiny interruption helps pull you out of the story loop and into the present moment. And from there, you can start to rewire. Not with fake happy thoughts—but with grounded peace. With truth. With curiosity. With regulation.<h3>Positivity Isn’t the Goal. Presence Is. &nbsp;</h3>Healing doesn’t mean you never have hard moments. It means you meet those moments with awareness—not performance.You don’t have to pretend. You don’t have to be “high vibe” 24/7. You just have to get honest enough to pause… and brave enough to interrupt the loop.Let’s stop forcing fake positivity and start building something real. Because the goal isn’t perfection. It’s presence.And that’s where the real healing lives.If this hit home and you’re ready to actually do the work—not just talk about it—I’ve got you. As a coach, I help you break the patterns, rewire your mindset, and finally feel safe in your own damn peace. <a data-mce-href="https://jaimecoaches.com/jaime-messina----mindset---empowerment-coach--one-on-one-coaching" href="https://jaimecoaches.com/jaime-messina----mindset---empowerment-coach--one-on-one-coaching" data-mce-selected="inline-boundary">Ready to go deeper? Let’s work together. CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE!</a> &nbsp;

You Don’t Need More Positivity—You Need a Pattern Interrupt

If calm makes you feel antsy, restless, or like something bad’s about to happen—you’re not broken. You’re just used to bracing for impact.And that’s not your fault.When you grow up in chaos, unpredictability, or environments where you had to stay on alert to stay safe, your body stores that experience. Your nervous system doesn’t forget it—it builds around it. That hyper-awareness becomes your baseline. So when things finally slow down, when there’s no fight to be had, no fire to put out, your system goes:“Wait a sec... it’s too quiet. What am I missing?”That’s hypervigilance. It’s a somatic memory—your body remembering what it once had to do to survive.And now, even in moments of peace, your body’s looking for danger because peace feels unfamiliar. Unsafe, even.<figure id="figure-e46vxksekmcumv2xa"><iframe id="e46vxksekmcumv2xa" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/DywLsqZp_FU" class="w-full bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9" allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowFullScreen="" data-url="https://youtube.com/shorts/DywLsqZp_FU?si=sa60NVtF6YJvGrjU" data-corners="default" data-fullWidth="false"></iframe></figure>But here’s the good news: You can re-teach your body what safety actually feels like.This is where something I call peace anchoring comes in.Instead of trying to force yourself to “just relax,” start gently training your nervous system to associate calm with comfort—not threat.Here’s how:<h3>Peace Anchoring Practice:</h3> Start by asking: “What does safe feel like in my body?”It might be warmth, softness, stillness, or something else entirely. Then—anchor that feeling to something consistent:<ul><li>A hot cup of tea in your favorite mug</li><li>Soft music or calming sounds</li><li>A walk in nature</li><li>Your weighted blanket</li><li>A daily breathwork ritual</li></ul>The more often you pair those external cues with a safe internal state, the more your body begins to recognize calm as normal, not suspicious.Because peace isn’t just the absence of danger—it’s the presence of real safety. And you are allowed to feel that now.It may feel foreign at first. That’s okay. Keep showing your system: “This is what safe feels like.”Keep choosing peace. One breath, one anchor, one moment at a time.

When Calm Feels Uncomfortable: How to Rewire a Nervous System Addicted to Chaos

I kept crashing into the damn pole.Not literally—but in life? Over and over again.I was frustrated, burnt out, and honestly, a little pissed off at the universe. I felt like I was doing everything right. I was reading the books, learning about the Law of Attraction, trying to be a good person, focusing on what I wanted… and still, nothing was changing.After a while, I started thinking maybe this whole manifestation thing was just one big cosmic joke.Then something happened that completely shifted how I saw everything.<figure id="figure-tfh0p97eimcrt31bg"><img id="tfh0p97eimcrt31bg" src="https://cdn.durable.co/covers/26DYzhjj9czEvvbiyyOBxtTdCcTd2B9h9ZfEmiBIq6iQFnJdJYVZUFpEfuUTmq7f.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/covers/26DYzhjj9czEvvbiyyOBxtTdCcTd2B9h9ZfEmiBIq6iQFnJdJYVZUFpEfuUTmq7f.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>My mentor, Joseph McClendon III, told a story that hit me square between the eyes. There’s a stretch of road near his house where people kept crashing into the same pole. It happened so often that it made the news. They interviewed the drivers—different people, different times—and every single one said the same thing:“The last thought I had was: don’t hit the pole.”And that right there is the point. They hit the pole because they were focused on the pole.Sound familiar?That’s when it clicked. I had been doing the exact same thing in my own life. Saying I wanted love, abundance, peace… but pouring all my attention into the lack of those things. Obsessing over why they hadn’t shown up yet. Focusing on what wasn’t working.And here’s the thing:Energy doesn’t speak English. It responds to your focus, not your words.You can say “I don’t want to be broke” all day long—but if your focus is still on scarcity, guess what you’re attracting? More of the same. Boom. Pole.Once I realized that, I started shifting. I caught myself in those moments and re-trained my mind to zero in on what I did want—on the vision, the feeling, the energy I wanted to call in. That shift alone started to change everything.<figure id="figure-teal9a2q26mcrt4cdi"><iframe id="teal9a2q26mcrt4cdi" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/kpZV6xN_LCg" class="w-full bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" allowfullscreen="" data-url="https://youtu.be/kpZV6xN_LCg?si=qF5F7bgQ_y8IZKJ-" data-corners="default" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/kpZV6xN_LCg" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></iframe></figure>This is exactly the kind of work we do in my <a data-mce-href="https://jaimecoaches.com/themanifestmastermind" href="https://jaimecoaches.com/themanifestmastermind">60-Day Manifest Mastermind</a>, which kicks off tomorrow.This isn’t about wishful thinking or toxic positivity. It’s about rewiring your brain, getting intentional with your energy, and finally building momentum toward the life you want.And if money is the thing that’s been holding you back? You can now use the Pay Later option through PayPal to get started for as low as $40/month. That’s it. No more excuses.So let me ask you:What’s the pole you keep crashing into? What are you unintentionally focused on, even though you’re trying to avoid it?If you’re ready to shift that—this is your moment. We start tomorrow, and this is your last chance to join us.<a data-mce-href="https://jaimecoaches.com/themanifestmastermind" href="https://jaimecoaches.com/themanifestmastermind" data-mce-selected="inline-boundary">👉 Click here to learn more and claim your spot</a>You coming?

Are You Focusing on the Very Thing You’re Trying to Avoid?

Let’s talk about something I hear all the time: “I’ve been doing affirmations every day, but nothing is changing.”You’ve probably been there. You stand in front of the mirror and tell yourself, “I am confident. I am powerful. I’ve got this.” And then… ten minutes later, you’re doubting your worth because someone didn’t text back or your boss gave you a weird look.Sound familiar?Here’s the thing: It’s not that you’re doing affirmations wrong. It’s that your brain isn’t convinced yet.<figure id="figure-1q4qyj9kkmcamba1t" class=""><iframe id="1q4qyj9kkmcamba1t" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Ybul_OZDWkI" class="w-full bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" allowfullscreen="" data-url="https://youtube.com/shorts/Ybul_OZDWkI?si=R-3Y6b3o7O6iZfoR" data-corners="default" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Ybul_OZDWkI" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></iframe></figure><h3>Your Brain Is Wired for Evidence</h3>The human brain is constantly scanning for confirmation of what it already believes. It’s called confirmation bias. If deep down, your subconscious believes you’re not good enough or that confidence isn’t safe, your brain is going to filter the world through that lens. It will highlight all the “proof” that you’re awkward, unworthy, too much, not enough—whatever story it’s been fed for years.So when you say “I’m confident,” your conscious mind might be on board—but your subconscious is over here like, “Girl, no you’re not. Don’t you remember that time in 7th grade when you tripped walking into homeroom?”That disconnect is why affirmations often fall flat. You're trying to plant a new seed, but the soil hasn’t been prepped.<h3>So What Actually Does Work?</h3>Instead of jumping straight to “I am confident,” you’ve got to build a bridge between where you are and where you want to be.Here’s how:1. Start with what’s believable.Try: “I’m learning how to feel more confident each day.” This gives your brain something to work with. It doesn’t immediately reject the statement, because it feels possible.2. Collect new evidence on purpose.Your brain is always collecting receipts—so feed it new ones. That moment you spoke up in the meeting? Evidence. The time you wore the outfit that felt bold AF and walked out the door anyway? Evidence. Keep a running list. This helps train your RAS (Reticular Activating System) to notice more moments that reinforce your growth.3. Pair affirmations with action.Affirmations aren’t magic spells—they need energy behind them. Say “I’m confident” and do something small that aligns with that identity. Post the reel. Go to the event. Send the email. Confidence is a muscle—you build it by using it.Bottom Line:Your affirmations aren’t failing. Your brain just needs time—and strategy—to catch up. You don’t need more hustle. You need alignment. And when you learn how to work with your brain instead of against it? That’s when the shift happens.Want support retraining your brain and rewiring those old patterns? Our next round of the <a data-mce-href="https://jaimecoaches.com/themanifestmastermind" href="https://jaimecoaches.com/themanifestmastermind">Manifest Mastermind</a> starts soon. This 60-day group coaching program is all about getting clear, rewiring your beliefs, and taking aligned action that actually sticks.<figure id="figure-apgo0186jmcamiui8"><iframe id="apgo0186jmcamiui8" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/kpZV6xN_LCg" class="w-full bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" allowfullscreen="" data-url="https://youtu.be/kpZV6xN_LCg?si=Jq0Qa9tijUIRvaG7" data-corners="default" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/kpZV6xN_LCg" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></iframe></figure>It’s not about saying the words—it’s about becoming the version of you who believes them.Let’s do this together.<a data-mce-href="https://jaimecoaches.com/themanifestmastermind" href="https://jaimecoaches.com/themanifestmastermind" data-mce-selected="inline-boundary">LEARN MORE ABOUT THE PROGRAM BY CLICKING HERE!﻿</a>&nbsp;

Jaime Coaches

Mindset & Empowerment Blog

Self-Awareness Isn’t Just About Triggers—It’s About Patterns

Triggered? It’s a Portal, Not a Problem

You Don’t Need More Positivity—You Need a Pattern Interrupt

When Calm Feels Uncomfortable: How to Rewire a Nervous Sy...

Are You Focusing on the Very Thing You’re Trying to Avoid?

Why Telling Yourself "I'm Confident" Isn't Working (And W...