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Victim of Emotional Abuse with Hands on Face

Let’s talk about one of the spiciest combinations out there: Being a Highly Sensitive Person with an anxious attachment style… while dating someone who’s avoidant.Because whew. That? That’s emotional bootcamp.<figure id="figure-ci4bahag3hme1mtix3"><iframe id="ci4bahag3hme1mtix3" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/ZgQVeT295zk" class="w-full bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" allowfullscreen="" data-url="https://youtube.com/shorts/ZgQVeT295zk?si=tGJM4XyJZGio0MWH" data-corners="default" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/ZgQVeT295zk" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></iframe></figure><h3>The HSP + Anxious Attachment Combo</h3>Here’s what happens when you’re a Highly Sensitive Person with anxious tendencies in love:You pick up on everything. The shift in tone. The slower reply. The slightly shorter text. Your nervous system is basically the emotional FBI. And your brain? It doesn’t just notice the change—it starts writing novels about what it means.“Are they pulling away?” “Did I say something wrong?” “Wait… they liked their ex’s post but didn’t watch my story???” You're not being "crazy." You're not overreacting. You're just deeply attuned—and deeply invested in connection.<h3>Now Enter: The Avoidant Partner &nbsp;</h3>Ah yes, the avoidant. The person who flinches at intimacy, ghosts when things get real, and thinks vulnerability is a third-degree burn.When you want closeness, they need space. When you reach out, they pull back. And suddenly, your inner child, your nervous system, and your insecure attachment are all freaking the hell out in unison.You end up chasing someone who confuses your sensitivity with neediness and calls your intuition “overthinking.”It's not just mismatched energy—it's a full-on nervous system mismatch.<h3>Here's the Real Talk</h3>You’re not broken. You’re not too much. You’re just wired for depth—and when that wiring meets someone who’s terrified of being seen, it can feel like emotional whiplash.But here's the important part: As an HSP, you're more likely to detect disconnection before it’s even named. And if you’re anxiously attached, you’ll do whatever it takes to restore that connection—even if it means abandoning yourself in the process.And that’s where we hit the pattern.<h3>What You Can Do About It</h3>This isn’t about “fixing” your sensitivity. It’s about learning how your attachment style and your nervous system work together. It’s about recognizing when you’re spiraling from an old wound… not a current reality. It’s about regulating your body before you react to their distance.This takes self-awareness. It takes practice. It takes tools.And honestly? It helps to not do it alone.<h3>If You’re in This Loop...</h3>You don’t have to keep chasing, spiraling, and shrinking yourself just to feel loved. You deserve connection that feels safe, steady, and reciprocated.This is the exact work I do with HSPs in my coaching: Untangling these patterns, calming the nervous system, and building the kind of love life that doesn’t require a recovery period after every text.If this post hit something in you—reach out by clicking <a data-mce-href="https://jaimecoaches.com/jaime-messina----mindset---empowerment-coach--one-on-one-coaching" href="https://jaimecoaches.com/jaime-messina----mindset---empowerment-coach--one-on-one-coaching" data-mce-selected="inline-boundary">here!</a> Let’s stop blaming your sensitivity and start working with it.You’re not too much. You’re just done settling for not enough. &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; <h3> </h3> &nbsp;

Sensitive, Anxious, and Dating an Avoidant? Yeah… It’s a Lot.

Let’s clear something up real quick.Being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) doesn’t mean you’re weak, broken, or emotionally unstable. It means your nervous system is on high alert—like, all the time.You’re not overreacting. You’re not being dramatic. You’re just literally wired to pick up on more. More energy. More tension. More subtle shifts in tone, mood, lighting, temperature, chaos—all of it.Some people walk into a room and say, “Hey, what’s up?” We walk in and immediately clock the couple that just fought in the parking lot, the coworker who’s spiraling quietly in the corner, and the fact that the lighting is 3% too aggressive for comfort.That’s what it means to be an HSP.<h3>So... What’s Actually Happening?</h3>It’s not just vibes and tears (although, yes—sometimes a commercial will ruin me for the day).The neuroscience backs this up.Highly Sensitive People have:<ul><li>More active mirror neurons (aka the part of your brain that feels what other people are feeling)</li><li>Increased activation in the insula, which helps us tune into emotional and physical sensations</li><li>A nervous system that processes everything more deeply and more thoroughly</li></ul>Translation?You feel things harder. You notice things faster. You reflect longer. You might even cry at dog videos and need a nap after brunch. (Hi, same.)<figure id="figure-qbwean7zgmdyukmg3"><iframe id="qbwean7zgmdyukmg3" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/JadeSl3yvQY" class="w-full bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" allowfullscreen="" data-url="https://youtube.com/shorts/JadeSl3yvQY?si=1nQXelqCSFs4o89Z" data-corners="default" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/JadeSl3yvQY" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></iframe></figure><h3>The World’s Response? Usually Something Like:</h3><ul><li>“You’re so sensitive.”</li><li>“You take things too personally.”</li><li>“Can’t you just get over it?”</li></ul>To which I say: “Cool, Karen. I’ll just rewire my entire nervous system to make you more comfortable.”Listen, the problem isn’t that we’re sensitive. The problem is that we’ve been told to hide it, shame it, or fix it.But being an HSP is not a flaw. It’s not something to overcome. It’s a completely valid, biological way of existing in the world.You’re not fragile. You’re finely tuned.You’re not too much. You’re just built for depth.You’re basically a Ferrari for feelings—and people who don’t know how to handle that will always try to convince you to drive like a beat-up Civic.<h3>So... Now What?</h3>If this hit home, I see you. You’re not alone. And you’re not “too sensitive”—you’re just done pretending your nervous system isn’t doing the most.If you’re ready to stop spiraling and start thriving in that beautifully sensitive brain of yours, this is literally the work I do. I coach HSPs like us on how to work with your wiring—not against it.No pressure. No pushing. Just support, honesty, and tools that actually fit how you're built.Wanna chat? Send me a message <a data-mce-href="https://jaimecoaches.com/jaime-messina----mindset---empowerment-coach--one-on-one-coaching" href="https://jaimecoaches.com/jaime-messina----mindset---empowerment-coach--one-on-one-coaching" data-mce-selected="inline-boundary">HERE!</a>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;

I’m Not Too Sensitive—My Nervous System Just Doesn’t Like Bullsh*t

Let’s just get one thing out of the way:Being a Highly Sensitive Person doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means your nervous system has been clocked in since birth—working overtime, picking up on everything—without ever getting a lunch break.If you’re an HSP, you probably already know it. You’ve spent your life crying at dog food commercials, getting emotionally wrecked by group text energy shifts, and needing 45 minutes of alone time after “just swinging by” a party.And yet, the world LOVES to act like you’re the problem.“Why are you so sensitive?” “Just let it go.” “You’re overreacting.” “You need to toughen up.”Oh, do I? Or do I just need a world that doesn’t feel like a Vegas casino every time I walk into Target?<figure id="figure-cohdho6btgmdrlz01t"><iframe id="cohdho6btgmdrlz01t" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/6WdjiT2JFTs" class="w-full bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" allowfullscreen="" data-url="https://youtube.com/shorts/6WdjiT2JFTs?si=kILGj3XEl-E4M0JU" data-corners="default" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/6WdjiT2JFTs" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></iframe></figure><h3>Here’s the HSP Reality:</h3>We’re not dramatic. We’re not needy. We’re not doing too much.We’re just wired differently.Being an HSP means we:<ul><li>Feel deeply.</li><li>Notice everything—tone, energy, micro-expressions, the weird vibe your friend brought to dinner.</li><li>Process things on a deeper level (thanks, brain).</li><li>Get overstimulated quickly in environments that other people breeze through.</li></ul>And you know what? That depth? That awareness? That sensitivity? It’s not something to be fixed. It’s something to honor.Because while we do need more rest, space, and quiet—we also bring more empathy, more creativity, and more freaking soul into this world than most people know what to do with.<h3>So no, I’m not too sensitive.</h3>You’re just too loud. And also probably emotionally unavailable. (But that’s a separate blog post.)<h3>Here's What I'm Learning</h3>The more I try to “toughen up,” the more I burn out. The more I try to shrink or shove down my sensitivity, the more disconnected I feel—from myself and everyone else.But when I let myself be exactly how I’m built? When I actually support my system instead of forcing it to perform like everyone else’s?Everything shifts.That’s what I’ve been leaning into lately—and it’s what inspired me to create the <a data-mce-href="https://jaimecoaches.com/mastermind" href="https://jaimecoaches.com/mastermind">Climb the Mountain 10-Day Challenge.</a> It’s a space where we get real about our patterns, our emotions, and the ways we sabotage ourselves the moment life starts getting good.It’s not about pushing through—it’s about understanding how you’re wired, working with it, and building resilience from the inside out.So if this post had you nodding, laughing, or thinking “Yep, that’s me”—you’re not alone. And you’re definitely not too much.You’re just… a lot. And that can be a beautiful thing.PS: If you're curious about the 10-Day Challenge, you can learn more <a data-mce-href="https://jaimecoaches.com/mastermind" href="https://jaimecoaches.com/mastermind" data-mce-selected="inline-boundary">HERE!</a>&nbsp; &nbsp; <h3> &nbsp;</h3>

I'm Not Too Sensitive—You're Just Too Loud

If you’ve ever been told you’re too sensitive... welcome. You’re my people.Maybe it was said with a laugh. Maybe it was a dig. Maybe you internalized it and started thinking, “Ugh, why can’t I just chill like everyone else?” But here’s the thing: what if your sensitivity isn’t a flaw?What if it’s literally how your nervous system is wired—and you’ve just never been given the right language (or tools) to understand it?<figure id="figure-3ewr8pgt3mdq9uk5m"><iframe id="3ewr8pgt3mdq9uk5m" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/9lEVwI7iXhY" class="w-full bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" allowfullscreen="" data-url="https://youtube.com/shorts/9lEVwI7iXhY?si=We8uIaFwEIiOqoah" data-corners="default" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/9lEVwI7iXhY" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></iframe></figure><h3>So… What’s an HSP?</h3>HSP stands for Highly Sensitive Person, and it’s a temperament trait that affects about 15–20% of the population. It’s not a diagnosis. It’s not a disorder. It’s just a different way your brain and body experience the world. You take in more. You feel more. You notice more.It’s like you’ve got your antenna turned all the way up—and while that can feel overwhelming sometimes, it also means you’re deeply intuitive, empathetic, and aware in ways other people aren’t.<h3>How Do You Know If You’re an HSP?</h3>Let’s do a quick check-in. See how many of these feel true for you:<ul><li>You get overwhelmed by bright lights, loud noises, or chaotic environments.</li><li>You cry easily—movies, commercials, awkward tension... yep.</li><li>You need alone time like you need oxygen.</li><li>You notice tiny shifts in people’s tone, energy, or body language.</li><li>You avoid violent TV shows because it’s just too much.</li><li>You startle easily.</li><li>You think deeply—sometimes to the point of spiraling.</li><li>You hate being rushed or forced to multitask.</li><li>You’ve been told “you’re too sensitive” more than once.</li><li>You feel other people’s emotions like they’re your own.</li></ul>If you’re nodding along to a bunch of these, there’s a good chance you’re an HSP. And let me say this clearly: There is nothing wrong with you.<h3>It’s Not in Your Head—It’s in Your Nervous System&nbsp;</h3>Science backs this up, too. HSPs actually process information more deeply in the brain. We have more active mirror neurons (hello empathy), stronger startle responses, and a heightened sensitivity to subtleties in our environment.So when someone tells you to “stop overreacting,” just know: your system is literally built to react more strongly. It’s not you being dramatic. It’s biology.<h3>Let’s Bust the Biggest Myth</h3>It means you care. You feel. You notice. You pause. And in a world that’s moving a mile a minute and rewarding numbness? That’s actually your edge.HSPs are some of the most creative, compassionate, and emotionally intelligent humans out there. You’re not behind. You’re not broken. You’re just built for depth, not surface.<h3>So What Now?</h3>If you’re curious about how to actually thrive as an HSP instead of constantly trying to “fix” yourself, I’m working on something behind the scenes that’s gonna speak directly to your sensitive soul.And if you’re ready to go deeper right now, I’ve got space for 1:1 coaching where we can unpack all of it together—your sensitivity, your patterns, your power.Send me a message <a data-mce-href="https://jaimecoaches.com/jaime-messina----mindset---empowerment-coach--one-on-one-coaching" href="https://jaimecoaches.com/jaime-messina----mindset---empowerment-coach--one-on-one-coaching">here</a> saying, “Okay yep, that’s me.” I’d love to hear what resonated. &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;

“Too Sensitive” or Just Highly Tuned? Let’s Talk About HSPs

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Let’s have an honest moment: Self-sabotage isn’t always obvious.It’s not just laying on the couch eating chips while ignoring your to-do list (though… that counts too). Sometimes, it shows up dressed as productivity. As overthinking. As “just needing to feel more aligned before I take action.” Cute. But no.If you’ve ever said:<ul><li>“I just need to get a little more organized first”</li><li>“Let me clean my whole house before I send that email”</li><li>“I’ll go after that goal… once I feel more ready”</li></ul>…congrats. You’ve met the sneakier side of self-sabotage.And before you start spiraling—this doesn’t make you broken or lazy. It makes you human.Your brain is wired to keep you safe, not successful. And guess what feels unsafe to your nervous system? Visibility. Change. Growth. Being fully seen. So when you start getting close to something good, your brain’s like, “Nah, let’s distract her with a sudden need to organize the pantry.”<figure id="figure-x9ftcwtriqmdgb3ksp"><iframe id="x9ftcwtriqmdgb3ksp" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/fbxFRE5aPnw" class="w-full bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" allowfullscreen="" data-url="https://youtube.com/shorts/fbxFRE5aPnw?si=eeD5RA3lbzfHZPzf" data-corners="default" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/fbxFRE5aPnw" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></iframe></figure><h3>Self-Sabotage Is a Pattern—Not a Personality </h3>Here’s the thing: You’re not the problem. The pattern is. And the second you can name it, you can start shifting it.So let’s try something right now: 👉 What’s one thing you say you want—but keep putting off, avoiding, or “accidentally” making harder than it needs to be?Say it out loud. Write it down. Drop it in a note. Whatever you do—name it.Because when you call out the pattern, you take its power away.<h3>Ready to Break the Loop?</h3>If you’re tired of circling the same mountain—sabotaging your momentum every time you get close to something good—I’ve got something for you.It’s called <a data-mce-href="https://jaimecoaches.com/mastermind" href="https://jaimecoaches.com/mastermind">Climb the Mountain</a>, and it’s a 10-day mastermind experience built to help you break out of the loop, reconnect with your power, and finally move differently.<ul><li>Short daily videos</li><li>Journal prompts that actually move the needle</li><li>Action steps that help you stop thinking and start climbing</li></ul>We start August 4th—and if you’re feeling the nudge, don’t ignore it.<h3><a data-mce-href="https://jaimecoaches.com/mastermind" href="https://jaimecoaches.com/mastermind" data-mce-selected="inline-boundary">👉 Join Climb the Mountain here</a></h3>You're not lazy. You're not lost. You're just ready for a new pattern.Let’s climb.<h3> </h3>

You’re Not Lazy—You’re Looping

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Let’s go ahead and get this out of the way:You do not have to heal your entire life before you’re allowed to want more, go after the thing, or show up as the version of you who’s ready to rise.Seriously. Who started this lie that we need to fix our childhood, our nervous system, our relationship history, our self-worth, our fear of success and our money mindset before we’re “ready”?Because here’s the truth most people won’t say out loud: You’re not stuck because you haven’t healed everything. You’re stuck because one old pattern is still running the show.That’s it.It’s that one belief that whispers, “Who do you think you are?” That one habit that shows up the second you get close to something good. That one story your brain keeps looping that was never even yours to begin with.And that’s the good news. Because you don’t need to overhaul your whole life. You just need to start with one shift.<figure id="figure-nrcq88mvssmdesy5x4" class=""><iframe id="nrcq88mvssmdesy5x4" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/33hZMyFxti4" class="w-full bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" allowfullscreen="" data-url="https://youtube.com/shorts/33hZMyFxti4?si=kdTYDKslaOYzKdVZ" data-corners="default" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/33hZMyFxti4" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></iframe></figure><h3>So... What Pattern Are You Still Running? </h3><ul><li>Do you constantly attract people who treat you like an option?</li><li>Do you procrastinate when you're finally getting momentum?</li><li>Do you shrink in rooms where you should be owning your space?</li></ul>That’s your mountain.It’s not random. It’s protective. It was built to keep you safe. But the you that built it isn’t the you who’s ready to rise.And the work now? It’s not about tearing it all down. It’s about taking one step. Disrupting one loop. Rewriting one belief at a time.<h3>&nbsp; That’s Exactly What We Do in Climb the Mountain</h3> <a data-mce-href="https://jaimecoaches.com/mastermind" href="https://jaimecoaches.com/mastermind">Climb the Mountain</a> is my 10-day mindset mastermind where we don’t try to fix everything—we focus on creating real, lasting change through 10 digestible, doable shifts.Each day, you get: <ul><li>A short, powerful video</li><li>A journal prompt that actually makes you think</li><li>A small, aligned action step to move the needle forward</li></ul>We’re not just talking about change—we’re becoming the version of us who can hold it.This is for the woman who’s tired of her own loops. Tired of being in her head. Tired of getting close and pulling back.If that’s you?<h3><a data-mce-href="https://jaimecoaches.com/mastermind" href="https://jaimecoaches.com/mastermind" data-mce-selected="inline-boundary">👉 Click here to join us﻿</a></h3>We start August 4th. And no, you don’t need to be fully healed to get started.You just need to say yes to the first step.Let’s climb.

Jaime Coaches

Mindset & Empowerment Blog

Sensitive, Anxious, and Dating an Avoidant? Yeah… It’s a ...

I’m Not Too Sensitive—My Nervous System Just Doesn’t Like...

I'm Not Too Sensitive—You're Just Too Loud

“Too Sensitive” or Just Highly Tuned? Let’s Talk About HSPs

You’re Not Lazy—You’re Looping

You Don’t Have to Heal Everything—Just One Pattern at a Time