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Stop self sabotage sign and wooden hands.

If you’ve ever said yes when you really wanted to say no — welcome to the HSP club.Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) aren’t just tuned in to their own emotions… we pick up on other people’s too. Which means when someone asks us for something, we don’t just hear the words — we feel the disappointment, the frustration, or the letdown before it even happens. And for a lot of us, that’s enough to tip the scales toward saying “yes” even when every part of us is screaming “no.”In the moment, it feels easier. But in the long run? That habit turns into self-sabotage. You end up drained, resentful, overcommitted, and disconnected from the life you actually want to be living.<figure id="figure-fliagh9ivemej0emwk"><iframe id="fliagh9ivemej0emwk" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/dZAj51lvHmU" class="w-full bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" allowfullscreen="" data-url="https://youtube.com/shorts/dZAj51lvHmU?si=bW59R1npzeO4xCNg" data-corners="default" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/dZAj51lvHmU" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></iframe></figure><h3>The HSP Boundary Trap </h3>For HSPs, boundaries can feel impossible because we equate saying no with letting someone down. Add in the fear of conflict and the natural tendency to absorb emotions like a sponge, and suddenly “no” feels like a rejection instead of a healthy choice.But here’s the truth: boundaries aren’t about shutting people out. They’re about teaching people how to treat you.<h3>A Simple Reframe to Flip the Guilt</h3>Here’s a little shift you can use the next time you feel that pressure to say yes when you mean no:Instead of thinking, “I’m letting them down,” shift it to: “I’m showing them how to respect me.”This one reframe can completely change how you approach boundaries. It moves you from guilt to empowerment, and it reminds you that protecting your energy isn’t selfish — it’s essential.<h3>Where to Go From Here</h3>That one reframe is powerful, but it’s only scratching the surface.Inside my 90-day program, <a data-mce-href="https://jaimecoaches.com/beyondthemountain" href="https://jaimecoaches.com/beyondthemountain">Beyond the Mountain</a>, we go deeper into breaking patterns like people-pleasing and perfectionism, building unshakable self-trust, and making boundaries second nature. Because you don’t just deserve to climb your mountain — you deserve to climb it without carrying everyone else’s baggage on your back.We start on September 8th, and spots are limited.<h3><a data-mce-href="https://jaimecoaches.com/beyondthemountain" href="https://jaimecoaches.com/beyondthemountain">👉 Click here to learn more and join us﻿</a></h3> &nbsp; &nbsp;

Why Highly Sensitive People Struggle to Say No (and How to Stop Self-Sabotage)

If you’ve ever been told to “just think positive,” let me save you some frustration — that alone isn’t going to cut it.Your mindset matters, yes. But here’s the truth no one’s putting on the motivational posters: if your nervous system is stuck in fight, flight, freeze, or fawn, your body is basically saying, “Nope. We’re not safe enough to change right now.”You can repeat affirmations all day long, but if your body is locked in survival mode, it’s like trying to run brand new software on an old, glitchy operating system — it just isn’t going to stick.<h3>Why Your Body Gets the First Vote </h3>When you’re in fight-or-flight, your brain isn’t prioritizing creativity, problem-solving, or goal-chasing. It’s prioritizing safety. And until your body feels safe, it’s going to keep pulling you back to old habits and familiar patterns — even if those patterns are the exact thing you’re trying to change.That’s why the “just think positive” advice can feel so discouraging. It’s not that your thoughts don’t matter, it’s that they can’t work alone. You need your body and mind working together.<figure id="figure-biafxra7ramebm0fw5"><iframe id="biafxra7ramebm0fw5" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/11Z8TfVNHwU" class="w-full bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" allowfullscreen="" data-url="https://youtube.com/shorts/11Z8TfVNHwU?si=OkGT6UZ0KnPXwoGQ" data-corners="default" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/11Z8TfVNHwU" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></iframe></figure><h3>A 60-Second Reset to Get Back Online</h3>Here’s one of my favorite quick resets you can do anywhere — it’s like a nervous system circuit breaker.Place your hand on your heart. Close your eyes if you can. Take a slow, deep breath in for a count of 4. Hold for a count of 4. Exhale for a count of 6. Repeat three times. Notice your shoulders drop. Your jaw unclenches. Your thoughts slow down. That’s your nervous system saying, “Okay. We’re safe. Now we can actually listen.”<figure id="figure-w8of6ra6wmebm4m1p"><iframe id="w8of6ra6wmebm4m1p" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Fm-x2d4KJWg" class="w-full bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" allowfullscreen="" data-url="https://youtu.be/Fm-x2d4KJWg?si=VjvELPsG4ruEWvSU" data-corners="default" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Fm-x2d4KJWg" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></iframe></figure><h3>Why We Go Deeper in Beyond the Mountain</h3>This 60-second tool is powerful — but it’s just one piece of the puzzle. In <a data-mce-href="https://jaimecoaches.com/beyondthemountain" href="https://jaimecoaches.com/beyondthemountain">Beyond the Mountain,</a> we pair mindset work with nervous system regulation so the changes you make actually last.Because you don’t just need to think differently — you need to feel safe enough to live differently.We start on September 8th, and spots are limited. If you’re ready to break the patterns, rewire your identity, and stop sliding back into old habits, this is your climb.<h2><a data-mce-href="https://jaimecoaches.com/beyondthemountain" href="https://jaimecoaches.com/beyondthemountain" data-mce-selected="inline-boundary">👉 Click here to learn more and join us</a></h2> &nbsp; &nbsp;

Why “Just Think Positive” Doesn’t Actually Work (And What to Do Instead)

Overjoyed woman tourist enjoying car ride alone, listening to music, singing songs and dancing while driving auto with backpack nearby on passenger seat

Let me start with this: The last time I was beyond pissed off, I didn’t just sit there stewing in frustration. Nope, I cranked up Rage Against The Machine and went full-on savage in a rage room. I’m talking smashing things, letting it all out—feeling the release with every moment.But here's the thing: it doesn’t always have to go down in a rage room. You can get that same emotional release with something as simple as belting out your favorite songs at the top of your lungs. I’m not kidding—singing can literally help heal your nervous system and release all that tension you’re carrying. And it’s so much easier than you might think.<figure id="figure-4q64zn3ynme79sypz"><iframe id="4q64zn3ynme79sypz" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/NFIjL_ZNrnM" class="w-full bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" allowfullscreen="" data-url="https://youtube.com/shorts/NFIjL_ZNrnM?si=ckdVdssHTgR7xiID" data-corners="default" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/NFIjL_ZNrnM" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></iframe></figure><h3>Your Body Holds Onto Emotions—Until You Let Them Out</h3>We’re not robots; we’re humans, and we carry stress, anger, sadness, frustration, and a ton of other emotions in our bodies—whether we realize it or not. And the truth is, unless you take the time to process and release those feelings, they stay locked up inside. You might not even know you're holding onto them until it comes out in some unexpected way.Your body is like a storage unit for emotional baggage. Whether it’s the anger you didn’t let out during that fight, the stress from work that you buried down, or the sadness from something unresolved, it all gets packed away. But here’s the catch: it doesn’t go away until you let it out.<h3>Singing = Somatic Release</h3>This is where singing comes in. When you belt out a song—whether it's a power ballad, an angry anthem, or just a feel-good tune—you’re doing way more than just hitting notes. You’re releasing all that built-up energy.Let’s break it down:<ul><li>Anger? Crank up some Rage Against The Machine and let it rip. No judgment here.</li><li>Feeling down? Throw on that empowering anthem and sing it like you're owning the world.</li><li>Stressed? Find a song that matches your mood, and sing like you're shaking off all that tension.</li></ul><h3>Why It Works</h3>Singing isn’t just for karaoke nights or belting your heart out in the shower—it’s a form of somatic release, which means you’re literally using your body to release emotions and reset your nervous system. When you sing, especially when you do it with emotion, you’re activating your body’s natural healing mechanisms. You’re releasing built-up stress, rebalancing your energy, and getting your nervous system back into a calmer, more grounded state.So when you’re feeling off, instead of sitting there trying to think it away or meditate it out, turn the music up. Sing your heart out. Let the words, the rhythm, and the energy work their magic. Trust me, your body will thank you.<h3>Next Time You’re Stressed, Sing It Out</h3>Next time you’re feeling overwhelmed, stressed, or even just stuck in your head, forget about the deep breathing exercises (at least for a moment) and go for the quick fix: crank up your favorite songs, belt it out, and watch the tension melt away.It’s like a mental reset button—and you get to do it while having a blast.<h3>Takeaway﻿</h3>Singing doesn’t just make you feel good—it’s actually a tool for emotional release and nervous system regulation. Your body is holding onto emotions until you make a conscious effort to let them out, and singing is one of the best, easiest ways to do just that.So the next time life gets stressful or you need to get a little anger out, skip the stress ball. Sing. Let it all go. Your body, your mind, and your nervous system will be better for it.

Why Belting Out Your Favorite Songs is the Best Stress Relief You’re Not Using (Yet)

Digital overload and its impact on the human brain, showcasing fragmented thoughts, information overload

Being a Highly Sensitive Person is basically like walking through life with your nervous system on IMAX surround sound.You’re not “too sensitive.” You’re just picking up on way more than the average human—every tone shift, every flicker of fluorescent lighting, every weird vibe in a room.It’s a superpower… until it’s not.Because if you don’t know how to manage it? You can go from thriving to completely fried faster than you can say “I just need five minutes.”So let’s talk about how to handle overwhelm and sensory overload without having to disappear from your life or fake your own death to get a break.<figure id="figure-lw3kfv3cprme2xsz94"><iframe id="lw3kfv3cprme2xsz94" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/pHTaj8JmmnM" class="w-full bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" allowfullscreen="" data-url="https://youtube.com/shorts/pHTaj8JmmnM?si=YwypSMGEwW4fiw6S" data-corners="default" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/pHTaj8JmmnM" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></iframe></figure><h3>1. Catch Your “Too Much” Signals Early</h3>Overwhelm doesn’t usually hit out of nowhere. It starts with little tells—lights feel brighter, sounds feel sharper, your patience gets shorter, or your thoughts start bouncing around like popcorn in a microwave.That’s your nervous system saying, “Hey… maybe it’s time to step out before we lose it.” If you can spot those signals early, you can take a micro-break instead of hitting full meltdown mode.<h3>2. Regulate Before You React</h3>Here’s the deal: when you’re overloaded, your brain is not your best decision-maker. That’s when you’re more likely to send the dramatic text, snap at someone, or make a big choice you regret in 10 minutes.Before you react, regulate. Step outside. Take a few deep breaths. Put on noise-canceling headphones. Close your eyes for 60 seconds. Give your body a second to catch up before you make a move.<h3>3. Protect Your Energy Like It’s Beyoncé’s Phone Number &nbsp;</h3>Boundaries aren’t rude—they’re the reason you can keep showing up as the version of you you actually like.Leave the party early. Say no to the “quick coffee” that you know will drain you. Build in white space in your calendar.You don’t have to justify protecting your energy. You just have to do it.<h3>Here’s the Truth</h3>Your sensitivity isn’t the problem. Running yourself into the ground and ignoring your limits? That’s the problem.Being an HSP doesn’t mean you have to live exhausted, overstimulated, and on edge all the time. With the right tools, you can be sensitive and steady.This is literally the work I do with my clients—helping HSPs protect their peace without shrinking themselves. Because sensitive doesn’t have to mean drained.You’re not too much. You’re just ready to start living like you actually like yourself.Want to talk about working together? <a data-mce-href="https://jaimecoaches.com/jaime-messina----mindset---empowerment-coach--one-on-one-coaching" href="https://jaimecoaches.com/jaime-messina----mindset---empowerment-coach--one-on-one-coaching">Click Here!</a> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;

Sensitive, Not Weak: How to Handle Overwhelm as an HSP

Victim of Emotional Abuse with Hands on Face

Let’s talk about one of the spiciest combinations out there: Being a Highly Sensitive Person with an anxious attachment style… while dating someone who’s avoidant.Because whew. That? That’s emotional bootcamp.<figure id="figure-ci4bahag3hme1mtix3"><iframe id="ci4bahag3hme1mtix3" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/ZgQVeT295zk" class="w-full bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" allowfullscreen="" data-url="https://youtube.com/shorts/ZgQVeT295zk?si=tGJM4XyJZGio0MWH" data-corners="default" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/ZgQVeT295zk" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></iframe></figure><h3>The HSP + Anxious Attachment Combo</h3>Here’s what happens when you’re a Highly Sensitive Person with anxious tendencies in love:You pick up on everything. The shift in tone. The slower reply. The slightly shorter text. Your nervous system is basically the emotional FBI. And your brain? It doesn’t just notice the change—it starts writing novels about what it means.“Are they pulling away?” “Did I say something wrong?” “Wait… they liked their ex’s post but didn’t watch my story???” You're not being "crazy." You're not overreacting. You're just deeply attuned—and deeply invested in connection.<h3>Now Enter: The Avoidant Partner &nbsp;</h3>Ah yes, the avoidant. The person who flinches at intimacy, ghosts when things get real, and thinks vulnerability is a third-degree burn.When you want closeness, they need space. When you reach out, they pull back. And suddenly, your inner child, your nervous system, and your insecure attachment are all freaking the hell out in unison.You end up chasing someone who confuses your sensitivity with neediness and calls your intuition “overthinking.”It's not just mismatched energy—it's a full-on nervous system mismatch.<h3>Here's the Real Talk</h3>You’re not broken. You’re not too much. You’re just wired for depth—and when that wiring meets someone who’s terrified of being seen, it can feel like emotional whiplash.But here's the important part: As an HSP, you're more likely to detect disconnection before it’s even named. And if you’re anxiously attached, you’ll do whatever it takes to restore that connection—even if it means abandoning yourself in the process.And that’s where we hit the pattern.<h3>What You Can Do About It</h3>This isn’t about “fixing” your sensitivity. It’s about learning how your attachment style and your nervous system work together. It’s about recognizing when you’re spiraling from an old wound… not a current reality. It’s about regulating your body before you react to their distance.This takes self-awareness. It takes practice. It takes tools.And honestly? It helps to not do it alone.<h3>If You’re in This Loop...</h3>You don’t have to keep chasing, spiraling, and shrinking yourself just to feel loved. You deserve connection that feels safe, steady, and reciprocated.This is the exact work I do with HSPs in my coaching: Untangling these patterns, calming the nervous system, and building the kind of love life that doesn’t require a recovery period after every text.If this post hit something in you—reach out by clicking <a data-mce-href="https://jaimecoaches.com/jaime-messina----mindset---empowerment-coach--one-on-one-coaching" href="https://jaimecoaches.com/jaime-messina----mindset---empowerment-coach--one-on-one-coaching" data-mce-selected="inline-boundary">here!</a> Let’s stop blaming your sensitivity and start working with it.You’re not too much. You’re just done settling for not enough. &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; <h3> </h3> &nbsp;

Sensitive, Anxious, and Dating an Avoidant? Yeah… It’s a Lot.

Let’s clear something up real quick.Being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) doesn’t mean you’re weak, broken, or emotionally unstable. It means your nervous system is on high alert—like, all the time.You’re not overreacting. You’re not being dramatic. You’re just literally wired to pick up on more. More energy. More tension. More subtle shifts in tone, mood, lighting, temperature, chaos—all of it.Some people walk into a room and say, “Hey, what’s up?” We walk in and immediately clock the couple that just fought in the parking lot, the coworker who’s spiraling quietly in the corner, and the fact that the lighting is 3% too aggressive for comfort.That’s what it means to be an HSP.<h3>So... What’s Actually Happening?</h3>It’s not just vibes and tears (although, yes—sometimes a commercial will ruin me for the day).The neuroscience backs this up.Highly Sensitive People have:<ul><li>More active mirror neurons (aka the part of your brain that feels what other people are feeling)</li><li>Increased activation in the insula, which helps us tune into emotional and physical sensations</li><li>A nervous system that processes everything more deeply and more thoroughly</li></ul>Translation?You feel things harder. You notice things faster. You reflect longer. You might even cry at dog videos and need a nap after brunch. (Hi, same.)<figure id="figure-qbwean7zgmdyukmg3"><iframe id="qbwean7zgmdyukmg3" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/JadeSl3yvQY" class="w-full bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" allowfullscreen="" data-url="https://youtube.com/shorts/JadeSl3yvQY?si=1nQXelqCSFs4o89Z" data-corners="default" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/JadeSl3yvQY" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></iframe></figure><h3>The World’s Response? Usually Something Like:</h3><ul><li>“You’re so sensitive.”</li><li>“You take things too personally.”</li><li>“Can’t you just get over it?”</li></ul>To which I say: “Cool, Karen. I’ll just rewire my entire nervous system to make you more comfortable.”Listen, the problem isn’t that we’re sensitive. The problem is that we’ve been told to hide it, shame it, or fix it.But being an HSP is not a flaw. It’s not something to overcome. It’s a completely valid, biological way of existing in the world.You’re not fragile. You’re finely tuned.You’re not too much. You’re just built for depth.You’re basically a Ferrari for feelings—and people who don’t know how to handle that will always try to convince you to drive like a beat-up Civic.<h3>So... Now What?</h3>If this hit home, I see you. You’re not alone. And you’re not “too sensitive”—you’re just done pretending your nervous system isn’t doing the most.If you’re ready to stop spiraling and start thriving in that beautifully sensitive brain of yours, this is literally the work I do. I coach HSPs like us on how to work with your wiring—not against it.No pressure. No pushing. Just support, honesty, and tools that actually fit how you're built.Wanna chat? Send me a message <a data-mce-href="https://jaimecoaches.com/jaime-messina----mindset---empowerment-coach--one-on-one-coaching" href="https://jaimecoaches.com/jaime-messina----mindset---empowerment-coach--one-on-one-coaching" data-mce-selected="inline-boundary">HERE!</a>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;

Jaime Coaches

Mindset & Empowerment Blog

Why Highly Sensitive People Struggle to Say No (and How t...

Why “Just Think Positive” Doesn’t Actually Work (And What...

Why Belting Out Your Favorite Songs is the Best Stress Re...

Sensitive, Not Weak: How to Handle Overwhelm as an HSP

Sensitive, Anxious, and Dating an Avoidant? Yeah… It’s a ...

I’m Not Too Sensitive—My Nervous System Just Doesn’t Like...