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The man sitting in the corner of the room has emotional and mental problems He has depression and stress from society and work. medical concept.

No one mentioned this part when it comes to growth: the grief of leaving old identities behind.We love to hype up the transformation story—the glow-up, the confidence, the boundaries, the self-love. And sure, those things are awesome. But what about the quiet, uncomfortable grief of letting go of the person you used to be?Because here’s the truth: even the identities that kept us small once kept us safe. The people-pleaser, the overachiever, the fixer, the one who stayed quiet to keep the peace. At some point, those roles weren’t just habits—they were survival.So when you grow out of them, when you decide you’re done betraying yourself to make others comfortable, it doesn’t just feel liberating. It also feels like loss.<figure id="figure-qyimjgwjq8mg5i5f50"><img id="qyimjgwjq8mg5i5f50" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/31QTFExhi5gnGqoCRsDcr6axVpaNHXlPQNMo2YHGfv51EzoqD9g02PEspDJba992.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: 50% 20%;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="50%" data-positiony="20%" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/31QTFExhi5gnGqoCRsDcr6axVpaNHXlPQNMo2YHGfv51EzoqD9g02PEspDJba992.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: 50% 20%;"></figure><h3>Why It Hurts to Let Go of Old Identities</h3><ul><li>Familiarity feels safe. Even if it wasn’t good for you, it was predictable.</li><li>Others were attached to that version of you. When you change, it shakes up the dynamics—and not everyone claps for your evolution.</li><li>It feels like a death. An old self is gone, and your ego mourns it, even while you’re stepping into freedom.</li></ul>And that mix of emotions—celebrating who you’re becoming while mourning who you were—isn’t a sign you’re doing it wrong. It’s a sign you’re doing it for real.<figure id="figure-b7vvzg90srmg9kv493"><iframe id="b7vvzg90srmg9kv493" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/ngqZklwbjZA" class="w-full bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9" allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowFullScreen="" data-url="https://youtube.com/shorts/ngqZklwbjZA?si=wUSxSdBdL4pzScAp" data-corners="default" data-fullWidth="false"></iframe></figure><h3>How to Move Through It</h3><ol><li>Honor the old you. Thank them. Write them a letter. They got you this far.</li><li>Let yourself feel it. Grief is natural. Pretending it’s only “yay, growth!” bypasses the process.</li><li>Anchor into your values. When the old self calls you back, check: does this align with freedom, peace, joy?</li><li>Trust the in-between. It’s messy before it’s magic. That liminal space is where you’re becoming.</li></ol>Growth is not just about adding new habits or mindsets—it’s about shedding skins that no longer fit. And every shedding comes with grief.But here’s the beauty: you don’t have to fear that grief. It means you’re evolving. It means you’re brave enough to let old versions of you rest in peace so that your most alive, expansive self can step forward.So the next time you feel that mix of sadness and pride, remind yourself: you’re not broken. You’re just becoming.The only question is—are you willing to keep going, even when growth feels like loss?If this hits home and you know you’re ready to release those old identities but want someone walking beside you as you do, I’ve got space for <a data-mce-href="https://jaimecoaches.com/jaime-messina----mindset---empowerment-coach--one-on-one-coaching" href="https://jaimecoaches.com/jaime-messina----mindset---empowerment-coach--one-on-one-coaching">one-on-one coaching.</a> Together we’ll reprogram the patterns, regulate the nervous system, and step fully into freedom. Reach out if you’re ready—it’s all unfolding perfectly.<h3><a data-mce-href="https://jaimecoaches.com/" href="https://jaimecoaches.com/">LEARN MORE HERE!</a></h3>

The Grief No One Talks About in Growth

When you hear the word wealth, what comes to mind? For a lot of people, it’s money, status, or material things.But let’s be real—wealth is so much bigger than that.Wealth is freedom from the beliefs that keep you small. It’s understanding that the universe isn’t out to get you—it’s conspiring with you. It’s the deep human connections that make you feel seen and alive. It’s waking up in the morning with joy in your chest, not because everything is perfect, but because you are.And the beautiful thing? There’s a formula for it:As I think, so I feel. As I feel, so I do. As I do, so I have.Read that again. Slowly.Your thoughts are the beginning of everything. They create the feelings you carry, those feelings drive the actions you take, and those actions create your reality.When you start shifting your inner world, your outer world can’t help but change, too. That’s wealth.<h3>A Tip to Start Today</h3>If you want to begin creating more wealth in your life—the kind that actually matters—start with this simple practice:Pick one thought every morning that aligns with the kind of life you want to create.It could be:“I am free from old patterns.” “I am worthy of deep connection.” “Joy is available to me right now.” Repeat it. Write it down. Let yourself actually feel it. Then notice how your actions start to shift throughout the day.<h3>Ready to Go Deeper?</h3>This work is powerful, but sometimes it takes guidance to really break old patterns and step into a new way of being. That’s where coaching comes in. If you’re ready to create wealth in your life—not just in numbers, but in freedom, connection, and joy—let’s talk.Because the truth is: you don’t have to do this alone.<h3><a data-mce-href="https://jaimecoaches.com/" href="https://jaimecoaches.com/" data-mce-selected="inline-boundary">LEARN MORE HERE!</a></h3> &nbsp; &nbsp;

The Definition of Wealth

Let’s talk about something a lot of people don’t like to admit: when life gets messy, most of us reach for “painkillers.”And no, I’m not talking about Advil. I’m talking about the rebound relationship, the shopping spree, or that “new year, new me” plan that dies by February.They’re quick fixes. They take the edge off. They distract you just long enough so you don’t have to feel the discomfort. And let’s be honest—they’re easier.But here’s the problem: painkillers don’t solve anything. They mask. They numb. And when the relief wears off, the pain comes back louder, the patterns get stronger, and you’re left circling the same mountain all over again.<figure id="figure-nrpvyljsxhmfzmjvio"><iframe id="nrpvyljsxhmfzmjvio" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/bYmUM9bw7DI" class="w-full bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" allowfullscreen="" data-url="https://youtube.com/shorts/bYmUM9bw7DI?si=A3DeSZ2Y1o8Dqzqp" data-corners="default" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/bYmUM9bw7DI" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></iframe></figure><h3>Why Painkillers Feel Easier</h3>Reaching for the quick fix feels good in the moment. Who doesn’t want instant relief? It’s like putting a band-aid over a wound—you don’t have to look at it, deal with it, or sit in the discomfort.But here’s the truth: masking the pain keeps you stuck. It convinces you you’re doing something when really… you’re just pressing snooze on your growth.<h3>Vitamins Build Strength</h3>Now let’s talk about vitamins. Vitamins don’t work overnight. They take consistency, intention, and commitment. You don’t feel the results immediately, but over time? They strengthen you. They build resilience. They prevent the pain from coming back in the first place.That’s the work I do with my clients. Coaching with me isn’t about handing you another “painkiller” pep talk or motivational sticker. It’s about giving you the vitamins—tools, support, and strategies—that rewire your patterns, build a stronger foundation, and transform your life from the inside out.<figure id="figure-jkw4icxmsmfzmlhfg"><img id="jkw4icxmsmfzmlhfg" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/32bTBs66atmNehP5eM2ljzE0BHEjpl4ZxvfG4jiZPrvTAQsSoJXzGU6cqhb3vAl8.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: 50% 80%;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="50%" data-positiony="80%" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/32bTBs66atmNehP5eM2ljzE0BHEjpl4ZxvfG4jiZPrvTAQsSoJXzGU6cqhb3vAl8.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: 50% 80%;"></figure><h3>Why Coaching is the Vitamin You’ve Been Avoiding</h3>Vitamins aren’t sexy at first. They take patience. They ask you to face what you’ve been running from. But they’re also what create lasting change.When you finally stop numbing the symptoms and start addressing the root cause, that’s when transformation happens. That’s when you stop repeating cycles, stop attracting the same red flag in a different outfit, and finally start living the life you’ve been chasing.Because painkillers are easy. Vitamins are powerful. And getting to the root? That’s freedom.So the real question is—are you here for another painkiller, or are you ready to finally take your vitamins?<h3>Ready for the Vitamins?</h3>If you’re done with the quick fixes and ready for real transformation, this is your moment. Coaching with me is about doing the work that actually changes your life—not just for now, but for good.Reach out, let’s talk, and I’ll show you how to stop masking and start transforming.<a data-mce-href="https://jaimecoaches.com/jaime-messina----mindset---empowerment-coach--one-on-one-coaching" href="https://jaimecoaches.com/jaime-messina----mindset---empowerment-coach--one-on-one-coaching" data-mce-selected="inline-boundary">LEARN MORE HERE!</a> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;

Painkillers vs. Vitamins: Why Quick Fixes Don’t Transform Your Life

<figure id="figure-b7c234fpsrmfo9z6r3"><img id="b7c234fpsrmfo9z6r3" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/2178107070/photo/burnt-slice-of-toast-bread-isolated-on-white-with-text-space.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=N2jC_ci7ZZ6fd1qkVODo-esFzxHzvb0NCfYwIDvfVIE=" alt="Burnt slice of toast bread isolated on white with text space" title="Burnt slice of toast bread isolated on white with text space" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: 50% 20%;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="50%" data-positiony="20%" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/2178107070/photo/burnt-slice-of-toast-bread-isolated-on-white-with-text-space.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=N2jC_ci7ZZ6fd1qkVODo-esFzxHzvb0NCfYwIDvfVIE=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: 50% 20%;"></figure>Sometimes life burns your toast.You’re rushing out the door, ready to take on the day, and then—bam—the toast is black. Instant frustration. You’re late, annoyed, and wondering why life couldn’t just give you a break.But here’s the thing: what if that burnt toast was actually saving you? Maybe the delay meant you avoided a car accident. Maybe it gave you just enough pause to remember the file you would’ve left on the counter. Maybe it slowed you down so you could run into someone who changes your life.That’s the heart of the Burnt Toast Theory: the detours, delays, and inconveniences aren’t punishments—they’re protection.<figure id="figure-vb2wpx8lmqmfoa08bs"><img id="vb2wpx8lmqmfoa08bs" src="https://cdn.durable.co/covers/1etUBuzZNaXdvxRrgfbZ6RUfSeaZ3dPrRiFiq3x49Flszgvr6LOml7bgyITGzkIQ.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="null" data-positiony="null" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/covers/1etUBuzZNaXdvxRrgfbZ6RUfSeaZ3dPrRiFiq3x49Flszgvr6LOml7bgyITGzkIQ.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure><h3>Enter Benny the Cat (a.k.a. Burnt Benny Toast)</h3>Now, you might be wondering what a cat has to do with any of this.This is Benny, my cat. After surgery, he needed a cone-of-shame collar. But instead of the typical plastic one, I got him something a little cuter—a loaf-of-bread-shaped collar. His little face peeking through the “bread” was hilarious and adorable all at once.One day, I was coaching a client and explaining the Burnt Toast Theory. To lighten the moment, I pulled up a picture of Benny in his bread collar. We laughed so hard, and I said, “You know what? I should turn him into burnt toast so you’ll always remember this theory.”And just like that, Benny became the official mascot for the Burnt Toast Theory.<h3>Why It Matters</h3>Life throws curveballs all the time—traffic jams, canceled plans, burnt toast, or even bigger setbacks. But if you zoom out, sometimes those “inconveniences” are exactly what keep you safe, redirect you toward better opportunities, or remind you to slow down.Benny in burnt toast form is your cue to trust the timing. To remember that even when things feel frustrating or out of sync, it doesn’t mean life is against you.It’s all unfolding perfectly.<h3>Your Turn </h3>Next time your toast burns (literally or metaphorically), instead of spiraling into frustration, ask yourself:<ul><li>What might this delay be saving me from?</li><li>What new opportunity could this open up?</li><li>How can I trust that this is protection, not punishment?</li></ul> And if you need a visual, just picture Benny’s little face popping out of a loaf of bread. Trust me—it’s hard to stay mad when you think of that.<h3>Take Benny With You</h3>If you want your very own reminder to trust the timing (and smile when life feels inconvenient), you can grab a <a data-mce-href="https://mindsetmemos.com/" href="https://mindsetmemos.com/">Burnt Benny Toast sticker </a>in the shop. Stick it on your water bottle, laptop, or journal—and let it be your daily nudge that it’s all unfolding perfectly. &nbsp;<h3><a data-mce-href="https://mindsetmemos.com/" href="https://mindsetmemos.com/" data-mce-selected="inline-boundary">GET YOUR BURNT BENNY TOAST HERE!﻿</a></h3> &nbsp; &nbsp;

Burnt Benny Toast: The Burnt Toast Theory

In 1978, my dad bought a dusty old suitcase for $700. That’s basically thousands of dollars today. Most people thought he was crazy.Inside were seven personal growth tapes and a tape recorder. Nothing flashy. Just tools and ideas that, at the time, the majority of people laughed at.The man selling it told him, “If your life isn’t dramatically different in six months, I’ll give you your money back.”<figure id="figure-6d2up0878mfo9ftjy"><img id="6d2up0878mfo9ftjy" src="https://cdn.durable.co/covers/21FBtQJaQe6TUumMrR9l0ekqV58UX7QXQDPZYAeAG09nseDp7oQKXGiKrXGEjBFq.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/covers/21FBtQJaQe6TUumMrR9l0ekqV58UX7QXQDPZYAeAG09nseDp7oQKXGiKrXGEjBFq.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>Three months later, my dad launched his own business. That one decision—to invest in himself when everyone else thought it was a waste—changed the entire trajectory of not just his life, but our whole family’s.And the best part? The man who sold him that suitcase ended up working for my dad not long after. Funny how life has a way of proving who’s really willing to bet on themselves.That dusty old suitcase became the catalyst for a multimillion-dollar business, a whole new way of thinking, and a completely different life.Fast forward to today—I’m now sitting with my dad as we write his book together. Decades later, the ripple effects of that one decision are still being felt.<figure id="figure-htmu32x04amfo9gbu5"><img id="htmu32x04amfo9gbu5" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/532664391/photo/old-vintage-suitcases-in-a-dusty-attic.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=16NNL_mVAXqCla8nVzQpDdT4NKtuC4NbSdPadOLI9rw=" alt="Old vintage suitcases in a dusty attic" title="Old vintage suitcases in a dusty attic" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/532664391/photo/old-vintage-suitcases-in-a-dusty-attic.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=16NNL_mVAXqCla8nVzQpDdT4NKtuC4NbSdPadOLI9rw=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure><h3>Your “Dusty Suitcase” Moment &nbsp;</h3>Here’s the thing: most people pass up their “dusty suitcase” moment. They let fear, doubt, or the voices of others convince them it’s not worth it.But the truth? Betting on yourself is always worth it.When you invest in your growth, you’re not just buying information—you’re opening the door to transformation. My dad didn’t just get tapes in a suitcase; he got the belief, tools, and mindset that built an entirely new life.And that’s the same thing I see with people who choose to work on themselves today. Whether it’s through books, courses, or coaching, the real magic happens when you decide to go all in on you.So let me ask you this:How many times have you passed up your own “dusty suitcase moment” because you didn’t believe in yourself enough to go for it?And better yet, what could happen if this time, you said yes?If you’re ready to find out, this is exactly the work I do as a coach. Together, we’ll break the patterns holding you back, rewire the beliefs that keep you stuck, and open the door to a life that feels expansive, aligned, and free.<h3><a data-mce-href="https://jaimecoaches.com/jaime-messina----mindset---empowerment-coach--one-on-one-coaching" href="https://jaimecoaches.com/jaime-messina----mindset---empowerment-coach--one-on-one-coaching" data-mce-selected="inline-boundary">LEARN MORE HERE!</a></h3>

The Dusty Old Suitcase That Changed Everything

Lifestyle traveler happy feeling good relax and freedom facing in the sunrise morning. Travel Concept

Let’s be real: life gets loud. The emails, the to-do list, the nonstop expectations—sometimes your nervous system is screaming for a reset.You don’t need a week-long retreat in the mountains to calm down (though hey, that would be nice). You need tools you can use in the middle of your day, at your desk, or even in the car before you walk into that meeting.Today I want to share two of my favorite quick resets: 4-4-4-4 breathwork and the 5-4-3-2-1 method. They’re simple, they take less than a minute, and they actually work.<figure id="figure-dqye5fja0omfmppfyu"><iframe id="dqye5fja0omfmppfyu" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/qDL5Xp0Lx40" class="w-full bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" allowfullscreen="" data-url="https://youtube.com/shorts/qDL5Xp0Lx40?si=5VlaNkVC6_IGbwlS" data-corners="default" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/qDL5Xp0Lx40" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></iframe></figure><h3>4-4-4-4 Breathwork (Box Breathing)</h3>This is the nervous system’s version of hitting “reset.”Here’s how it works:<ol><li>Inhale through your nose for 4 counts.</li><li>Hold that breath for 4 counts.</li><li>Exhale slowly through your mouth for 4 counts.</li><li>Hold again for 4 counts</li></ol>That’s one round. Repeat 3–4 times.<figure id="figure-c29nf31pppmfmpsbp2"><img id="c29nf31pppmfmpsbp2" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/2aCAw6HLz2ZRGXJMS3lSzoHxY4CtwQDTfoE2RDRCU7VnpHjx3iTpjpCl7IMYPbdl.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/2aCAw6HLz2ZRGXJMS3lSzoHxY4CtwQDTfoE2RDRCU7VnpHjx3iTpjpCl7IMYPbdl.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>What it does: This balances your sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems, calms stress, and sharpens focus. Navy SEALs actually use this technique to stay calm under pressure. If it works for them, it’ll work for you.<h3>The 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Method</h3>When your thoughts start spiraling, this technique snaps you right back into the present moment.Here’s what you do:5: Notice five things you can see. 4: Notice four things you can feel (your chair, your feet on the floor, your breath). 3: Notice three things you can hear. 2: Notice two things you can smell. 1: Notice one thing you can taste.What it does: This interrupts anxious loops and grounds you in the here and now. It’s mindfulness, without the fluff.<figure id="figure-g4dmd474mgmfmpwyug" class=""><img id="g4dmd474mgmfmpwyug" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/3ahpDiJFhZZ7QkkT0t0N3I1it5hy3csMrMAnbwpsIo8JgALuaoQKXPtLDI75n0SW.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/3ahpDiJFhZZ7QkkT0t0N3I1it5hy3csMrMAnbwpsIo8JgALuaoQKXPtLDI75n0SW.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure><h3>Why They Work Together</h3>Breath calms the body. Awareness calms the mind. Stack them, and you’ve got a nervous system reset you can use anywhere—before a big presentation, when you catch yourself spiraling, or when that “I’m not worthy” lie starts creeping in again.<h3>Try This Today</h3>Next time stress hits, try one round of 4-4-4-4 breathing followed by a quick 5-4-3-2-1 scan. Notice how quickly you shift.These aren’t just techniques. They’re tools to remind your brain and body: you’re safe, you’re present, you’re in control.<h3>Ready for the Deeper Work?</h3>Breathwork and grounding are powerful entry points—but if you’re tired of cycling through the same old patterns, it might be time to go deeper. This is exactly what I help my clients do: break the loops, rewire the nervous system, and finally step into lives that feel calm, aligned, and free.If you’re ready to take this further, let’s work together.&nbsp;<h3><a data-mce-href="https://jaimecoaches.com/jaime-messina----mindset---empowerment-coach--one-on-one-coaching" href="https://jaimecoaches.com/jaime-messina----mindset---empowerment-coach--one-on-one-coaching">Click Here to Learn More!</a></h3> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;

Jaime Coaches

Mindset & Empowerment Blog

The Grief No One Talks About in Growth

The Definition of Wealth

Painkillers vs. Vitamins: Why Quick Fixes Don’t Transform...

Burnt Benny Toast: The Burnt Toast Theory

The Dusty Old Suitcase That Changed Everything

Two Quick Tools to Calm Your Mind: 4-4-4-4 Breathwork + T...