Why You Need 12 Hugs a Day (And How to Get Them)

JC

Dec 14, 2024By Jaime Coaches

Hugs. They’re one of the simplest forms of human connection, yet they hold the power to transform our mental, emotional, and physical well-being. You may have heard the saying that we need 12 hugs a day to thrive, but have you ever wondered why that number exists and what it could do for you?

If you’re like many people, you might be getting far fewer hugs than that on a regular basis. But here’s the good news: even increasing the amount of physical connection you get by just a little can make a big difference. Let’s explore the science behind hugging, why 12 hugs matter, and how you can start incorporating more hugs into your daily life.

Love to pet.

The Science Behind Hugging
Hugging is more than just a nice gesture. It triggers a cascade of biological reactions that benefit your body and mind. When you hug someone, your brain releases oxytocin, often referred to as the "love hormone" or "bonding hormone." Oxytocin fosters feelings of trust, connection, and comfort.

But oxytocin isn’t the only star of the show. Hugging also increases the levels of dopamine (the "feel-good" hormone) and serotonin (the "mood stabilizer"). These neurochemicals work together to improve your mood, reduce anxiety, and promote a sense of well-being.

Additionally, hugging helps lower cortisol, the stress hormone. It’s a natural way to help your body relax and combat the effects of stress.

Pet owner stroking his old cat and dog together

Why 12 Hugs a Day?
The idea of needing 12 hugs a day comes from family therapist Virginia Satir, who believed:

  • 4 hugs a day for survival.
  • 8 hugs a day for maintenance.
  • 12 hugs a day for growth.

Why 12? While the number isn’t a hard scientific rule, it reflects the need for frequent, consistent physical connection to thrive emotionally and physically. Just like you need regular exercise to keep your body healthy, you need regular doses of physical affection to keep your emotional health strong.

In our busy, often digital world, physical touch can become rare. But the more hugs you give and receive, the more your brain and body benefit.

The Benefits of 12 Hugs a Day
Here’s what happens when you prioritize physical connection:

1. Reduced Stress and Anxiety: Hugs help lower cortisol levels and promote relaxation. Even just a 20-second hug can make a difference!

2. Improved Mood: The dopamine and serotonin released during hugging help boost your mood and alleviate feelings of sadness or loneliness.


3. Stronger Immune System: Lower stress means a stronger immune system. Studies have shown that people who receive more hugs get sick less often.

4. Lower Blood Pressure: Physical touch activates pressure receptors on your skin, signaling the brain to lower your heart rate and blood pressure.


5. Deeper Relationships: Hugs build trust and connection with loved ones, fostering stronger, healthier relationships.


6. Pain Relief: The endorphins released during hugs can act as a natural painkiller.


7. Better Sleep: Hugging helps you relax, making it easier to fall asleep and stay asleep.
 

How to Get More Hugs Every Day
Ready to bring more hugs into your life? Here are some practical tips:

  • Hug Your Loved Ones: Start and end the day with a hug. Greet your partner, kids, or friends with a warm embrace.
  • Hug Your Pets: If you have a dog, cat, or another furry friend, giving them a cuddle can provide similar benefits.
  • Ask for Hugs: It’s okay to ask! Let people know you’re focusing on connection and would love a hug.
  • Join Supportive Communities: Attend community events, group gatherings, or clubs where physical connection and affection are part of the culture.
  • Practice Self-Hugs: When you need comfort and no one’s around, wrap your arms around yourself. Self-hugging can still trigger oxytocin release.
  • Give Virtual or Verbal Hugs: If in-person hugs aren’t possible, express affection through kind words, messages, or virtual connections.

Final Thoughts
In a world where stress, disconnection, and loneliness are all too common, hugging is a simple yet powerful remedy. It doesn’t cost anything, it doesn’t take much time, and its benefits are profound.

You don’t have to hit 12 hugs immediately. Start by adding just one or two more hugs to your day and notice how it makes you feel. Connection, comfort, and healing are only a hug away.

So, who are you going to hug today?

Let’s build a world where we all thrive through connection. Share this post and spread the love — one hug at a time.