Why Telling Yourself "I'm Confident" Isn't Working (And What to Do Instead)
JC
Let’s talk about something I hear all the time:
“I’ve been doing affirmations every day, but nothing is changing.”
You’ve probably been there. You stand in front of the mirror and tell yourself, “I am confident. I am powerful. I’ve got this.”
And then… ten minutes later, you’re doubting your worth because someone didn’t text back or your boss gave you a weird look.
Sound familiar?
Here’s the thing:
It’s not that you’re doing affirmations wrong.
It’s that your brain isn’t convinced yet.
Your Brain Is Wired for Evidence
The human brain is constantly scanning for confirmation of what it already believes. It’s called confirmation bias.
If deep down, your subconscious believes you’re not good enough or that confidence isn’t safe, your brain is going to filter the world through that lens. It will highlight all the “proof” that you’re awkward, unworthy, too much, not enough—whatever story it’s been fed for years.
So when you say “I’m confident,” your conscious mind might be on board—but your subconscious is over here like,
“Girl, no you’re not. Don’t you remember that time in 7th grade when you tripped walking into homeroom?”
That disconnect is why affirmations often fall flat. You're trying to plant a new seed, but the soil hasn’t been prepped.
So What Actually Does Work?
Instead of jumping straight to “I am confident,” you’ve got to build a bridge between where you are and where you want to be.
Here’s how:
1. Start with what’s believable.
Try: “I’m learning how to feel more confident each day.”
This gives your brain something to work with. It doesn’t immediately reject the statement, because it feels possible.
2. Collect new evidence on purpose.
Your brain is always collecting receipts—so feed it new ones.
That moment you spoke up in the meeting? Evidence.
The time you wore the outfit that felt bold AF and walked out the door anyway? Evidence.
Keep a running list. This helps train your RAS (Reticular Activating System) to notice more moments that reinforce your growth.
3. Pair affirmations with action.
Affirmations aren’t magic spells—they need energy behind them.
Say “I’m confident” and do something small that aligns with that identity. Post the reel. Go to the event. Send the email. Confidence is a muscle—you build it by using it.
Bottom Line:
Your affirmations aren’t failing. Your brain just needs time—and strategy—to catch up.
You don’t need more hustle. You need alignment. And when you learn how to work with your brain instead of against it?
That’s when the shift happens.
Want support retraining your brain and rewiring those old patterns? Our next round of the Manifest Mastermind starts soon. This 60-day group coaching program is all about getting clear, rewiring your beliefs, and taking aligned action that actually sticks.
It’s not about saying the words—it’s about becoming the version of you who believes them.
Let’s do this together.