Finding Connection and Perspective in Divisive Times

In my work, I get the privilege of connecting with people from all walks of life. Each day, I interact with different personalities, backgrounds, and stories. And I meet them in spaces that mean the world to me, because my purpose and passion is to help people work toward a goal, overcome something, or maybe see something about themselves they hadn’t noticed before. It’s an incredible feeling to be part of that journey, to support them as they gain insight and empowerment. But sometimes, especially in times like these, the work isn’t just about the coaching — it’s also about navigating a world where everyone holds different, often intense, views and emotions.

I don’t go out of my way to discuss politics, religion, or other hot-button issues with my clients. My focus is on what they need, what they want to work through. But today, like many days in this charged world, I’ve seen people emotionally affected by the election and the state of our society. And as a member of the LGBTQ+ community, and as someone who deeply cares about people, it’s challenging to witness these divides and feel that tension. Sometimes, my initial instinct is to want to shut down anyone who doesn’t see things the way I do. But that’s not how I operate.

Maybe it’s my background in sociology, but I genuinely believe that connecting with people on a human level can create real change. Shutting others out may give us temporary relief, but ultimately, it creates more division. And I have to ask myself: what do I want out of this? Am I here to build walls, or am I here to open up dialogues that could lead to understanding, compassion, and maybe even change?

I’ve seen the power of storytelling, whether it’s on this blog, in conversations with clients, or even in my own life. Stories can inspire us, challenge us, and make us reconsider things we thought we knew. When we hear about someone else’s struggles, dreams, or fears, it touches something inside us. We feel empathy. And here’s the powerful thing: when we feel strong emotion and empathy, it doesn’t just change our minds; it can actually change our brains.

When we connect emotionally with someone else’s experience, our brains release chemicals like oxytocin, which helps us bond and feel empathy. This bonding doesn’t just feel good — it can actually rewire our neural pathways. When we consistently engage with others' perspectives and connect emotionally, our brain creates new patterns, making it easier to be empathetic and open-minded in the future. It’s like strengthening a muscle; over time, we’re better able to listen and consider other viewpoints, sometimes even without realizing it.

Imagine if we all took a moment to listen to someone on the “other side.” What if instead of dismissing them, we asked questions? We might find that much of what drives our beliefs is rooted in personal fears or experiences. On both sides, there’s a lot of misunderstanding and assumptions, and that can lead to fear. But in the middle of these assumptions and fears, there’s space for growth if we’re open to it.

So, yes, today I’m feeling a little torn. On one hand, I’m disappointed in how divided we can be. But on the other, I’m hopeful that there’s still room for connection and for people to surprise us. We might not have control over election outcomes, but we can control how we react. If you’re passionate about a cause, use your voice. Advocate, educate, show up, and don’t underestimate the power of simply sharing your story. You never know who might listen, or who might start seeing things from a fresh perspective.

For those of you who may have voted differently from your friends or family, this is an opportunity, too. If you support someone’s right to feel safe, seen, and respected, speak up. It’s okay to stand with your beliefs while still supporting others in areas that matter to them. We can be Republicans, Democrats, independents, or anywhere in between, and still unite in our humanity. This is how change begins — by choosing connection over division, by building bridges instead of walls.

I think we all ultimately want to live in a world where people understand and respect each other. And if we keep choosing to shut down, we’ll never get there. I don’t know about you, but that’s a future I don’t want to be part of. So here’s to keeping the door open, to listening, and to staying hopeful. We’re in this together, whether we like it or not, and I’d rather it be a world where we find a way forward together.